College gals! There is literally a wall between you and the men of your dreams
College females! Listen up! A dude on the internet has some advice for you.
You need to stop protesting racism and rape culture, and soon, because if you don’t, you’ll never score the Trump-supporting probable-date-rapist of your dreams!
That, at least, is the recommendation given by one Jezebel commenter that our old pal Heartiste the Racist Pickup Dude has decided to feature on his blog today. The context for the comment, which now seems to have been deleted: Random internet dude is responding to a story about some frat bros at Tulane that built a veritable Trump wall out of sandbags around their frat house, covered with edifying and imaginative slogans such as “Make America Great Again” and “Trump.”
Note to college females who don’t want to marry “down.” You already outnumber males on campus 2 to 1. The ever fewer white males on campus are finally getting tired of the relentless and expanding PC environment that blames them from every ill from rape to black crime and at the same time expects them to pay more and more taxes to support the “47%.”
Mend your way, college females, because bitter white dudes don’t grow on trees!
If you want to marry at your social, financial and intellectual level, you are going to have to out compete the other two girls who are trying to land the same lacrosse player/frat boy/computer geek. It may be fun to chant “Black Lives Matter” and “take back the night,” but your best chance for finding a well matched mate is while you are in college.
That’s right, gals! We know your little secret!
You may literally be protesting a Trump wall built around a historically racist frat known for displaying Confederate flags in its windows and that until recently held an annual “Old South” formal celebrating the good old slavery days.
But we know that you secretly want to marry up each and every hunky frat bro behind that wall in a lavish Gone-With-the-Wind-themed ceremony in which you wear a hoop skirt and the groom and groomsmen are tastefully bedecked in Confederate uniforms.
You may be leading a Take Back the Night march, chanting “no means no,” but you secretly wish the guys chanting “no means yes, yes mans anal” would buy you a drink.
Oh, wait, I’m being told that none of that is even remotely true, and “are you kidding?”
The competition just gets tougher out in the real world (ask your older sister about how much fun the dating game is in your 30’s! ) Your future financial security, not to mention happiness, depends on beating the competition.
Apparently when women graduate from college they are all suddenly 30 years old.
So if Trump rallies are increasingly “where the bros are,” you might want to take a shower, shave your legs, put on some nice clothes and head for the next Trump rally.’
And if you don’t, it’s probably white genocide or something.